Gojyo and Love
by guanyin-kun
Summary: Gojyo's angsty look at love while being surprised at what Hakkai's cooking does to him


I do not own any part of Gensoumaden Saiyuki, nor did I receive payment for this work of fiction.

22, Dec. 2005

Gojyo and Love

by guanyin-kun

Love. What the fuck is the big deal about it. Can't buy you happiness, doesn't put food on the table, doesn't buy beer. I've never known it...kids are supposed to be loved by their parents, right? Bullshit. You're supposed to love your brother, right? Fuck that. You're supposed to love the one you fuck, right? Just a piece of ass to make you feel less alone. Whoever said "All you need is Love" was fucking high on drugs.

I go to the bar and see this girl regular like and after a good fuck she tells me she loves me. It makes her happy, so I play along and say "Me too baby." She's happier than shit. I know all she's thinking about is having a family, kids to cook and sew for and a husband who brings home the bread and wants all of her attention. Does it say 'Sucker' on my forehead? I don't think so.

Then I got a room-mate. Hakkai. Now, there's a poster child for Love if I ever saw one. Damn near invisible. Talk about someone who loved and lost and will never love again... He's a lost cause. It's been a year and all he does is answer politely, never starts a conversation mind you, but says nice thoughtful things if you talk to him. Gods, how can a person just exist for someone else. Me? I'm looking out for number one. Well, sort of. Now I've got Hakkai to look out for too.

He mopes around every time it rains. Don't get me wrong, the guy's great. Plays poker and makes me hone every skill I've got just to beat him, cooks for me, cleans the damn house until it's livable again, all this and no complaints. Maybe he figures he owes me. I can live with that.

He says he's in love with his dead sister/lover. Whatever. I'm not the one making judgements here. But damn, he's got it bad. If that's what love does to you, I certainly don't want it.

Well, he's back after seeing that screwed up monk and that monkey boy for a week. Some sort of review to make sure he's still okay I guess. Not my business to ask. It rained all week, so now he comes home (damn, but I like the sound of that) and the world stops crying just for him. I've eaten nothing but take-out and beer since he left. Stinky laundry piled higher and deeper all over. Pig sties are cleaner. He comes in, crisp as a new dollar bill and I'm here in my three day old shorts. Now that look is a Kodak moment. He's got that plastic smile on so fast, I almost missed that look. An inner look of 'if this isn't hell, then there isn't one'.

He's pleasant enough, cheerful and somehow more at ease. I do a little to make things neater, cleaning up the beer-can ashtrays, empty booze bottles, clothes left by the women I had over while he was gone. All the while, he starts in with the pleasantries of life. He's talking. Fuck. He's even listening to the stupid answers I give him... They must have scared the bejesus out of him, either that or gave him such a silent treatment that all he can do to regain his sanity is talk to me. Not that I think it's a bad thing, it's just weird to hear him talk about regular stuff. He's worried about my health, and whether or not I got to eat right, got enough sleep, he cares. No one has ever done that, except Jien. Not even mom.

I go get ready for the evening out, a shower and a change of clothes. He's sorted the laundry and has made a shopping list already. Damn, he must have been majorly pussy-whipped by that sister of his. He apologises, apologises, that he didn't bring home groceries beforehand. What the hell? When did I start letting him take care of my ass? I grunt trying to soothe his guilt trip.

My luck is foul to-night. The girl I was with, finally got it into her fool head to make the ultimate man-killer...she wanted marriage or everything was off. I said later, I have a life to live. So, the cards have deserted me and so have the ladies. Well, since Hakkai now has a tongue, I may as well as take advantage of it.

I wander in, instantly my nose is assaulted by the fantastic smells of exotic food and incense. The warm glow of a single candle illuminates the tiny room of the living area like in some romance novel. He's sitting at the table reading one of his obscure books. On hearing my entrance, he looks up expectantly...happily...and smiles.

"I'm glad you're home, Gojyo. I couldn't resist making these for you and I'd like it very much if you would do me the honour of tasting them." There it is... I'm trapped. No way I can tell the guy, "Look, I don't need to be spoon fed or fended for. I can always scrounge something to eat somewhere.", so I sit down at the table. My mouth waters and my stomach growls betraying my own hunger. Dammit, it only makes him smile more.

He makes up a plate for me with a little of everything on it. Placing it in front of me, I go to dig in, only to get my fingers slapped like some kid. He waggles a finger at me and pulls up a chair next to mine. Is he acting weird, or am I just over-reacting? Damn that food looks so delicious I could fuck it.

He's talking again, in low, quiet tones as he picks up pieces of food, bringing them tantalisingly to my lips. I'm so focused on the food, I don't even hear what he said.

"Huh?" Gee, that was a real winner of a question, all I can think of are those fingers holding those tidbits up to my face.

He's chuckling at some private joke, at my expense I bet. "I just said, I didn't know you had food fetishes like Goku, Gojyo. Now open up and I'll feed these to you. They're best enjoyed shared. Would you like to try that?"

Fucking great. Now he's comparing me to monkey boy. What's this 'shared' thing he's talking about? I get nervous real fast. He's not sticking his tongue in my mouth. But, I have to try and be at least a little polite since he's gone to all this work.

"Uh, yeah. Okay." I hold myself ready to chomp down and make a full retreat should invaders from beyond enter my mouth.

He chooses a small, brown sauce laden one, taking the merest nibble off one end and slowly brushes my lips with it. Opening automatically, it's only after he runs it around the inner circle of my mouth that I feel the tingling warmth from the spices. He places the rest of it far back on my tongue. Afraid of it falling out, I quickly close my mouth, accidentally catching his finger. He's blushing. Does he think I'm flirting with him? Well, let's see how far this flirt goes. He knows my preference, and there's no question about him, so I lick his finger clean then slowly draw it out and lick it again seductively, saying, "Sorry, my bad."

The blush goes from his cheeks to the tips of his ears and a little crinkle shows up in the corner of his eye along with a different smile. One I can't place. He makes his little apologies as well and gets a different morsel. It has shrimp on it, I think. Maybe a little wasabi, and I smell a hint of ginger somewhere. Hell if I know what half of these things are. Some look like buns, some sushi, some maybe vegetable rolls the others might be veggies of some sort. In for a penny, in for a pound. I let him continue.

He puts the tail end in his mouth and leans forward, just close enough to nudge my lips with the front part. Letting it slide over my teeth, I'm close enough I can kiss him. The contrasting tastes of the wasabi and ginger make me want to pull back quickly, but his eye draws me in. I'm motionless, almost as if I was hypnotised. He smells of honeysuckle and saffron. You'd think that was a girly scent, but on him it just seems right.

I finish chewing only to realise he has the only honest smile I've ever seen on him. Suddenly, I'm flushed and my ears burn. Gotta be the spices. He's not getting forward or nothing, but I start to get nervous anyway. Maybe I need to re-think this.

"Uh... Hakkai?" I start drawing back from the table.

"Yes, Gojyo?" His voice is smooth as silk and just as soft.

"Uhm, are you trying to seduce me?" Gods, I can't believe I just asked that.

"No. Why?" He tilts his head and looks at me curiously.

"No reason. Just checking." Great. Sha Gojyo acting like a virgin. How embarrassing.

"Ready for more?" I can't tell if he's making fun of me or not.

"Yeah, sure. Ready when you are." He smiles gently and slips a spoon of something cold into my mouth. Cold, sweet and fruity...sherbet. Haven't had some in a while 'cause the freezer doesn't work so good anymore.

We dance a little more with barely touching lips. A few times, our noses rub one another and for some reason it sends little electric fingers down my spine. When we do, he giggles a little and I giggle back. He lifts an aromatic, liquid filled saucer for me to drink out of. I sip the warm fluid, becoming pleasantly aware he's given me sake to clear my assaulted pallate.

Soon, my head is swimming with aromas, sake and incense. I'm in complete control. Giving me more sake, a few drops dribble down to my chin. Closing the gap between us, he uses his soft, warm tongue to lick it away. I grin stupidly. "Waste not, want not, eh?" I thought I would be scared of something like that, but it was nice. I'm just surprised he's breaking all his 'personal space' rules. He's suddenly not afraid to be inches from me, to touch me; not seductively; but tenderly nonetheless.

The candle is guttering now and the food is gone. I sigh and pat my now full stomach. "That was wonderful, Hakkai. Really out did yourself this time." He gives that shy little look when anyone compliments him on anything he considers ordinary.

"Thank you, Gojyo."

I start to get up from the table, thinking of how good bed would feel about now when he puts a hand on my arm. His voice is so low, I almost miss it.

"Gojyo, would you mind terribly if I did this?" He puts a hand on each side of my face, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs. Gods, his hands are soft. It really does feel good. I blink, finding a warm, sweet breath washing over my face. I don't move, I just stare slack-jawed like a stupid chimp.

He presses his rose petal soft mouth against mine and I can't stop myself from opening to him. But, he just kisses the corners of my mouth, then nibbles chastely at my top and bottom lips. Suddenly our breathing quickens as our passions start to grow. From teasing my wanting mouth, he slips his deft muscle into my awaiting warmth.

Slowly, his spice laden taste mixes with mine as he explores every inch of my rift. I try to push for dominance, entering into him, but he'll have none of it. He deepens the kiss, pouring passion and fire throughout my being. Electricity dances through my soul and I moan deeply giving way for him to plunder me as he sees fit. I've never given such a kiss to anyone out of the thousands of touches I've had. It's beyond sexual. Like a raging torrent of molten metal, it flows through every vein in me, igniting a fire that refuses to be put out, except by being fueled by more of this passion.

No woman has made me feel like this. The need to breathe is too great for us both as we reluctantly pull apart. What the hell just happened? Oh, nothing. Hakkai just kissed me.

Hakkai. Kissed. Me.

I can't believe he did that. What's more, I can't believe I liked it. If it felt good the first time, it should feel even better the second. So, I lean into him and this time I kiss him. He submits easily enough, but soon takes control again and damn if I wasn't right. I like being kissed by him. I like it a lot. More than kissing women, who although have passion, have no fire like he shares with me.

Breaking away, breathless once again, he smiles tenderly. "I take it that does not bother you then, Gojyo?"

What a dope. "Women are like liquor. It's okay if you can't afford the good stuff, but when the good stuff comes, never pass it up Ya, know what I mean?" I have to laugh at his expression. Like I was asking him to explain god or something.

"Yes, I think I do. It's called Love."

I stare at him in disbelief. "Well, I'm turning in for the night, you?" He nods and we both change into our night clothes, me in my sweat pants and him in those soft, green, cotton pajamas. Before he climbs into his bed I hold out my hand to him. "Hey, wanna come and share some more of those kisses of yours?" He's only too happy to oblige. We clamber into the same bed, picking up where we left off, the fires burning greater with each new pressing.

If this is what Love is, I can deal with that, as long as Love includes Hakkai.


End file.
